


Phases of Love

by Fudgyjammy14



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Acceptance, Angst, Cheating, Lies, M/M, Moving On, Self-Acceptance, Self-Denial, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-02 05:29:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20270734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fudgyjammy14/pseuds/Fudgyjammy14
Summary: Lust, Frustrations, Expectations, Disappointments, Lies, Secrets, Attractions, Affairs.Can they still get through it?





	1. Lies

Junhoe ran into the woods.

Ran has hard as he could.

Tears filled his eyes till everything was blurry, but he knew this place.

This place he came for solitude.

A place that was his alone. Secretly.

That concealed him. And he fled into the shadowy depths of the woods heading toward it, splashing through the stream and stumbling over a falling limb, crashing onto the leaf covered ground.

He rolled back onto his feet and staggered down a steep slope and back up the other side. And he ran once again, till he came to his place.

His sanctuary.

A place away from his family, away from the people of the community.

A place away from Jinhwan and the others.

A place away from Jiwon.

It was an old treehouse.

The treehouse had been abandoned for a long time. Junhoe had had to replace a few of the boards nailed to the tree trunk as a ladder to gain access to it. It was high in the tree, so high he still felt dizzy when he climbed up the last few feet. But inside the small structure with one side open looking out over the creek and the woods surrounding it, it was another world.

Isolated from everything but bird song and the gentle breezes of summer and hoot of an owl at night.

Wiping tears from his eyes, Junhoe climbed, not looking down as he did so. Inside, he fell on his side and curled up in the fetal position and began to cry again.

He cried till he couldn’t, then just laid still, staring out. His mind was a swirl of emotions, scenes of earlier coming back to him, fragmented, the worst moments playing over and over.

He tired himself with it till his eyes slowly closed and sleep finally overtook him.

***

Jiwon stormed into his apartment and threw his keys across the small living room hitting the curtain.

He heard the jiggle of the metal keys as they fell to the floor and he stood there breathing hard.

He was so angry.

Angry with Jinhwan.

Angry with the others who had stood around egging him on.

Angry with Junhoe for running off, refusing to listen to his excuse. And it was an excuse he knew, so he was mostly angry with himself.

He looked around the apartment, the small living area, the even smaller dining area and the kitchen that ran across the back wall. The place was a mess, made worse by last night. Some of his buddies came over to play video games and they had ordered pizza, went out for beer not once, but twice and sometime around three in the morning he had finally got them to leave.

He was going to clean today.

He felt like things were out of whack.

Turned upside down.

Had been for a while. But he was working through it, finding his way.

Then this afternoon it all went to shit.

There was the accusation.

The questioning of his relationship with Junhoe.

What was going on between them.

Jinhwan made it an issue.

He knew he was jealous.

He had been trying to get Junhoe to ask him out since the eleventh grade.

Jiwon had felt cornered.

They wanted him to admit something he was unprepared to do. And he couldn’t do it.

Not now.

Not in this place.

So, he lied.

Jiwon didn’t know it, but Junhoe had arrived and was standing behind him when he had replied they were only friends.

Just friends and that was it.

It had been humiliating, the way he had lied so easily.

He was going to leave.

Just turn around, get back into his car and go home.

When he turned around there stood Junhoe, eyes watering and a look of being rejected that made him sick to this stomach.

He didn’t have the courage to look Junhoe in the eyes. Instead, he looked away, back at the others, then at Jinhwan.

The bitch.

He got what he wanted.

Junhoe’s hurt by his lie.

Jiwon pulled his clothes off, tossing them on the floor as he moved through his bedroom and into the bath. He had the shower so hot it was nearly scalding. The room steamed up quickly. The heat of it seemed to open him up, let him finally catch his breath, and breathe.

Forehead against the wall he pounded it with one fist.

Then he cried as he eased down in the tub and sat with his arms wrapped around his knees.

He felt defeated.

Ashamed at what he had done and how it had hurt Junhoe.

He didn’t know how, but tomorrow morning he would go to the Koo residence and make things right.

The cell phone rang, startling him.

He’d been laying in the dark trying to make sense of what had happened.

Jiwon fumbled for the phone.

It was Junhoe’s mother, Mrs. Koo, and he was suddenly fearful of why she was calling this late.

“Mrs. Koo, what’s up?”

“Jiwon, I’m so sorry to call at this hour, but…well, Junhoe has always told us when he was going to stay at your place for the night and…his car is here.”

“What do you mean? Junhoe is not at home?”

“No. We haven’t seen him since this morning when he left to meet you and the others…and when we got home this afternoon, around six, his car was here, but he wasn’t. We assumed he might have gone down into the woods. He loved to go down there; could stay for hours. But he hadn’t done that for months and…”

“Maybe he…” and Jiwon faltered, knowing Junhoe would not be with anyone else.

He would have been with him or at home.

He looked at the time. Eleven forty, far too late to still be down in those woods.

“I’ll get dressed and come over. I think I know where he will be if he is still in those woods.”

“Oh, thank you Jiwon. I know I shouldn’t be worried. Junhoe is eighteen and could be out on his own. But he has always been so secretive, and I worry…”

“I’m sure he is fine. I’ll be there as quick as I can.”

Jiwon hit ‘end’ and laid the phone down, jumping up to get dressed.

As he pulled his jeans on, he reflected on Junhoe’s confession, one he made a couple of times in the past, usually after they had had sex and were lounging in bed, Junhoe curled up next to him, head on his chest.

There was an old treehouse, the abandoned one and Junhoe had found it four or five years ago.

Ever since it was his private place to go think or to just get away from his parents and everyone else.

Pulling a t-shirt over his head Mrs. Koo’s comment about Junhoe being secretive came back to him. She knew more than she let on. She had walked in on them once, out in the barn, so she had to know the truth. Whether, or not Mr. Koo knew he wasn’t sure.

It seemed as if he didn’t know, that Mrs. Koo had kept it to herself.

Yes, Junhoe and he were secretive, but this secret was one shared by three people, not two.

He quickly grabbed up his keys from the floor and raced out.

Down the wood steps and across the parking lot to his truck, he quickly got underway. He drove out of town cautiously then sped up when he finally got out into the countryside.

Both hands on the wheel racing down the narrow two-lane roads he tried to remember everything Junhoe had said about the treehouse. How it sat in an old oak tree near down the creek.

He had been in the woods behind Junhoe’s house, but never down to the treehouse.

It seemed to embarrass Junhoe to admit going to it, something only a little kid would want to do. It couldn’t be too far away, for the creek ran just below the Koo’s property on land owned by the bank. Since growing pines along creeks was too difficult, that section of the property was left untouched. The pines on the upper sections were nearing the time for harvest, so they were tall spindly things.

The Koo residence was lit up with every exterior light burning, including those on the exterior of the barns.

Mr. Koo was walking toward the house as he drove around and parked behind Junhoe’s car.

Mrs. Koo came out of the screen porch and he saw immediately how upset she had made herself.

“No word from Junhoe?” he asked as he closed his door.

“None.”

“Well, I’m going to go down into the woods and look for him. I don’t know exactly where but somewhere on the creek is a place he liked to go.”

“I’ll come with you” Mr. Koo said as he checked his flashlight.

“No Sir…I think I know why he’s upset, and it’ll be easier to talk to him if it is just the two of us.”

“I agree” Mrs. Koo replied immediately and for a moment Jiwon saw the look. “Honey, I need you to wait with me here…okay?”

Mr. Koo nodded his head.

“Alright. I’m heading down and I’ll call when I find him and if he should show up please give me a call.”

Jiwon drove down to the back of the field up along the edge of the woods.

From there it was less than a quarter of mile, but it was woodland with no trail.

And with the new moon, it was pitch black within them.

Flashlight throwing a beam of light in front of him, he set off into the woods.


	2. Not Now

Junhoe rolled onto his back and realized he was laying on a hard-wooden surface.

It came to him: the treehouse.

He sat up and rubbed at his eyes and looked out into the darkness. He could barely make out the line between the floors of the treehouse and the opening towards the creek.

The sky was filled with stars which gave just enough light to see variation in shadow.

He had to piss in the worst way and eased up on his feet and stepped to the edge of the floor.

He let a steady stream flow out over the side and down to the ground below.

As relief came to him, he thought of why he was in the treehouse to begin with.

It hurts, but not as it had earlier.

He knew Jiwon struggled with being gay, had from the beginning.

Always conscious of what others thought, afraid he would disappoint them in some way if they knew, especially his family.

Finished, he zipped up and eased back to the far wall, only a couple of steps away and eased down till he was sitting against it.

He knew he should go back but with no flashlight it would be nearly impossible to find his way without tripping and falling. He hoped his mother believed him to be at Jiwon’s house, but his car in the driveway would be a problem.

Pulling his knees up he wrapped his arms around them and laid his head down on top. He closed his eyes knowing he could fall asleep again if he would just relax, let the day’s events go, and welcome the unconsciousness of it.

But a twig snapped, the sound so much louder in the dark, and Junhoe opened his eyes looking down the hatch along the trunk of the tree, then out through the tree tops. He eased forward, not making a sound and peered over the edge.

At first, he wasn’t sure what he was seeing, then it dawned on him it was a beam of light moving through the trees. It would move side to side then bounce around with the walking motion of the person holding the flashlight.

“JUNHOE! Where are you?” Jiwon’s voice called out, a tone of fear in it.

Junhoe hesitated to reply.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to face Jiwon.

He heard Jiwon stumble, a curse then the light beam moving through the trees around him.

Jiwon knew to look for the treehouse and it was only a matter of time when he spotted it.

“Up here.”

Jiwon eased up through the hatch and into the small space.

Junhoe just sat against the wall and watched him take a seat opposite of him.

To his left was the open side facing the creek. The light of the flashlight reflected off the walls making the room glow brightly compared to its previous pitch blackness.

“Why are you up here? You should be home. Your parents are…”

“Jiwon. You know why.”

Jiwon sat silent for a moment then replied, “I know.”

“Mom isn’t too freaked out, is she?”

“Actually, she is pretty upset. In fact, I should call and let them know I found you.”

“Tell them I feel asleep and when I woke it was dark, so I planned to wait till morning.”

Junhoe watched Jiwon make the call, his mother answering on the first ring.

He listened as Jiwon explained where he had found him, and they would be back soon. Ending the call, Jiwon slipped the phone into his pocket and turned off the flashlight. The darkness was sudden but as their eyes adjusted the sky seemed to fill with stars where they could see through the tree canopy over the creek.

“Wow, I’ve never seen so many stars.”

“There’s no light pollution” Junhoe replied.

“What?”

“No light pollution. No security lights or porch lights to make seeing the stars difficult.”

“Oh.”

“Junhoe…about earlier, I’m…” Jiwon finally broached the subject that stood between them.

“Jiwon, stop. It’s okay. I understand. You are not comfortable revealing to everyone you’re gay. You’re afraid of rejection; by your family and your friends. I get it. Really I do.”

“So, we’re good?”

Junhoe hesitated, unsure now was the time, but Jiwon was waiting and to wait longer seemed wrong.

“No. We’re not. You have to live the life that you think is right. But I can’t do what you want. I just can’t. **This constant secrecy**. **This denying me**, going so far as to flirt with one girl or another to keep up appearances. It’s not right, Jiwon. Not for me. Not for them. And not for you.”

“But Junhoe…”

“Jiwon, I’m not asking you to change. I can’t do that. But we need find our own way in life, even if it means separately.”

“But…”

“Jiwon…Please.”

Jiwon couldn’t reply, couldn’t bring himself to beg, and for he knew it would only make things worse.

He saw the resolve in Junhoe’s eyes.

There was only one thing left to do.

He nodded his ascent.

Junhoe and Jiwon pulled into the rear yard where Junhoe’s parents were waiting. Junhoe climbed out of the car and headed toward his parents as Jiwon watched.

When he embraced his mother, the car reversed across the rear yard then eased down the drive.

Junhoe looked over his mother’s shoulder watching Jiwon drive away. He lost his breath for a moment as the taillights grew smaller and smaller then arched around a curve out of sight.

“Let’s go in” his mother said as she pulled away and took his hand, leading him toward the house.


	3. Moving on

Junhoe carried the monitor to his computer up the stairs and into his apartment. He had to move around boxes and furniture that sat haphazardly around the living area. He carried the monitor to his bedroom where he had his bed set up against one wall, and his desk on another. He placed the monitor in its center then went out the glass door that led to the balcony from his bedroom.

Through the sliding doors he could see his belongings stacked up ready for unpacking. On the balcony there was a small bistro table and two chairs and a large palm his parents had bought at the home improvement store they passed coming in.

His parents had helped him move to this city, even though they had tried to talk him out of it on numerous occasions. Now they were headed back home, and he was alone in his own place.

It was exciting and scary.

He was excited by the prospects of living his own life but scared of it too.

Could he be honest about it, truly honest? 

And would he meet the kind of people he would enjoying socializing with, and would he meet guys that would feel this need for companionship.

Looking across the pool below Junhoe saw several guys lounging around and a few in the pool. He studied their bodies, the look of each one. There was one guy in the pool that from a distance reminded him of Jiwon.

The same lean build and the same hair color, but when he heard the guy call out to one of the others and laugh, the voice was all wrong. Very different from Jiwon’s, lacking a drawl.

Junhoe thought of Jiwon, and how they had only crossed paths twice since that night three months ago. Once at the general store in the neighborhood, and again just last weekend, over in town at the diner on Main Street.

“I heard you’re moving” he had said as soon as he approached their table. Junhoe remembered the defeated look of him and tried not to let it change the way he felt. “You’re moving” Jiwon had stated, obviously word had gotten around the community.

Junhoe realized there wasn’t much to say on the matter and acknowledged he was moving away. Jiwon had put on a brave face, telling him good luck then backed away.

Sliding the door open, Junhoe stepped inside the living area and began to search for boxes that belong to the bathroom, knowing he’d need them first. He sat aside one box and was searching for the others when he heard a knock at his door.

Opening the door, he expected a sales person or someone out for donations to some cause, instead there was a guy about his age, dressed in a casual shirt and cargo shorts with a trendy haircut.

“Yes?” he asked.

“Hey, I’m Donghyuk. I live upstairs and saw you moving in and thought I would just say hello.”

“Oh thanks, you want to come in?”

“Oh no, I can see you’re in the middle of unpacking, but if you need anything, something you can’t find yet, come on up and ask. I’m in 314.”

“Thanks.”

“Well, I’ll be going. See you around?”

“Yeah” Junhoe responded, about to close the door as Donghyuk headed up the stair. Sticking his head out he called out, “Donghyuk, one question?”

“Yes?” Donghyuk replied stopping on the stair.

“Where can I get a decent sandwich around here. You know, a good one?”

“Oh, that would be Garden St. Deli. It’s about a half mile up the road, take a right on Garden St. and it’s…2…no 3 blocks on the left.”

“Thanks. I’m not set up to cook yet and just want something quick.”

“I think you’ll like it. As for dinner this evening, some guys and I are going to this Vietnamese place in Hanyundong Hills. You want to go come on up around seven.”

“Okay. Hanyundong Hills? Where is that?”

“It’s a neighborhood about five miles to the east of here. One of the last to see gentrification hit.”

“I may see you at seven.”

It was a small restaurant within a building from the nineteen-sixties with angled storefront across the front. The interior was split at the entry doors with an aisle aligned with the double doors through the dining area with a small section to the left of booths down the wall and the half wall and on the other larger side, booths with tables in the open floor. One table was a large round table that had seating for eight where the guys found themselves, taking all but one chair. Junhoe sat next to Donghyuk and his boyfriend Yoyo on one side and on his other side sat Sebastian, Hanbin, Chanwoo and Baek.

During conservations and while they ate, Junhoe found himself studying the other guys, looking not only their physical appearances but the way they carried themselves.

He noted the things in discussion that seemed to be of interest to one or another. The politics of the time, events going on in the city, latest efforts by LGBT groups, and the usual banter about dating and going out. Junhoe couldn’t contribute and reluctantly admitted to his past with Jiwon and the closeted nature of it.

It was a relief to know the others had some of the same experiences in the past and he found himself relaxing.

The anxieties he had been feeling seem to erode away.

Sebastian made some comment about his job and Junhoe found himself looking at him once again. Sebastian was a few inches shorter than Junhoe, stocky build with dark hair and skin tone. His dialect hinted at his Japanese roots and Junhoe found his voice enticing, so different from the southern accents of home. Chanwoo responded to something Sebastian said and Junhoe turned his focus on him. Chanwoo was lean, taller than him with coffee colored skin and hair cut close to the scalp. He wore trendy black frame glasses and had hoop earrings in each ear. Dressed up nicer than the rest of them, he stood out.

Junhoe also noticed how Chanwoo seemed infatuated with Sebastian and wondered if they would eventually hook up, if they hadn’t already.

Baek laughed at something Chanwoo said and Junhoe looked over at him. Baek was average in height, maybe a little shorter than he with thick wavy pink hair. The others referred to him as strawberry. He was gregarious, louder than the others, making more jokes and keeping the conversation going.

Junhoe wondered what it would be like to have someone so open in his life. Someone not afraid to speak out. At the moment, he couldn’t imagine what that would be like.

Between Sebastian and Chanwoo sat Hanbin who was the quietest of the guys. Junhoe couldn’t help but realize they were so similar in appearance. About the same height, same build and even the same hair color. The only difference he noticed was Hanbin had hazelnut colored eyes to his dark brown one. Although Hanbin didn’t talk as much, Junhoe had been able to decipher several things about him.

He worked for graphic arts firm doing design work on the computer. Originally from Seoul, he moved here after college and lived in a small loft apartment in a renovated mill in the Hanyundong Hill neighborhood. Of the four guys available, he was the one that captured his eye the most.

Why? He didn’t know.

Once finished eating, one more drink consumed, and the checks paid they wandered out into the parking lot. The night was warm, the skies clear, and Junhoe was still amazed at the sounds of the city, especially at night.

Baek was walking backward in front of Donghyuk and Yoyo talking about some movie they had to go see and to Junhoe’s right, he saw Chanwoo fall in next to Sebastian talking quietly amongst themselves.

It made Junhoe smile the normalness of it, the casual way the guys went about interacting, something he would have never considered back home. Hanbin strolled up next to him and it pleased him more than he would ever admit.

“Junhoe, it was really nice to meet you.”

“It was great meeting you and the others.”

“Maybe…well hopefully I’ll see you around?” The question had a pleading tone to it.

Some question within it left unsaid.

Junhoe knew Hanbin was trying to say more.

He also knew it was up to him.

He felt the butterflies in his stomach.

It seemed silly on one hand, but on the other, pleasurable to have such a normal attraction and feel this anxiety of whether, or not it was mutual.

“I hope to be finished unpacking by tomorrow, or Friday at the latest, so I have the weekend to explore and relax before starting my job on Monday. Would you like to do something? Maybe dinner on Friday night?”

Hanbin smiled and Junhoe would swear he was blushing. “Yes, that would be nice. You want me to come over to your place?”

“That works. See you around seven?”

“Seven. your place.”


	4. Don’t leave

Dinner had been more enjoyable than Junhoe could imagine. With it just the two of them, Hanbin opened up, talked more about himself, at times blushing at some confession. For Junhoe, it was endearing. Hanbin and Junhoe were similar in some ways, but in others, he seemed to possess an innocence Junhoe knew he no longer felt.

A way of looking at things with expectation, a yearning to know or to understand. Curious of the world around him. It made Junhoe feel alive again.

After dinner they strolled through the changing business district of the neighborhood. Shops for unique fashions, consignment shops, galleries, restaurants and bars, the most prolific being the micro-brewers. Junhoe lost count of their number.

Back at his apartment they sat on the balcony, cocktail in hand, watching the nightlife of the city passing by. He didn’t want the night to end and tried to think of ways to keep Hanbin from leaving. Drinks finished Hanbin stood up and Junhoe worried the night was going to come to an end.

“Can I use your bathroom?” Hanbin asked.

“Yeah, sure.” 

Junhoe sat waiting, fearful Hanbin would come out and say he had to leave. The glass door slid open and Hanbin came out, standing near.

“Maybe I should go …?” said Hanbin, his tone questioning.

“No…I mean not yet. It’s only…”

“One AM” Hanbin interjected causing them to laugh.

“But tomorrow’s Saturday. Come, sit with me” said Junhoe holding out his hand. He became embolden, determined to get Hanbin to stay longer.

Hanbin took his hand and instead of leading Hanbin to the other chair he pulled him close getting him to sit on his lap.

“Don’t leave” whispered Junhoe, suddenly feeling in control.

Hanbin’s face was in shadow, but he swore he saw him smile. He reached up and raked his fingers along the smooth skin of Hanbin’s jaw till he held him by the chin.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Hanbin’s, gently, lingering for a long time keeping the contact. When Hanbin pulled back, he was smiling.

“You want to go inside?” Junhoe asked, his cock growing erect from the weight of Hanbin sitting on it.

Hanbin just continued to smile as he stood and held out his hand. Junhoe let him lead them to his bedroom where they stood by the bed and kissed again. Then they removed the other’s clothes as they kissed and touched the other.

Hanbin held Junhoe by the waist as they kissed. He debated reaching down between them and manipulating Junhoe’s cock or sliding his hand around to Junhoe’s back, then down between the cheeks till he could rub and probe Junhoe’s opening.

He wanted to do both.

When a hand on his waist moved to his stomach, then down taking his cock, stroking it till fully erect, he slipped his right hand around Junhoe’s waist, trailed his fingers down till they were between the ass cheeks. Hanbin pushed along the crevice till he felt the wrinkled flesh of the opening. He rubbed his finger over it, pushed against its tightness till Junhoe moaned into his mouth. Pushing through the tightness, Junhoe pulled his head back and moaned louder.

“Fuck…fuck me Hanbin…fuck me” Junhoe uttered as he pushed his ass back on the finger sinking into his hole.

Hanbin walked Junhoe to the bed, gently eased him down on his back. He dropped down on his knees, took Junhoe’s erection in hand and slipped his lips over the flared head. Junhoe gasped as he sucked on it, tongued the slit then let inch after inch slip through his lips. He moved down, then up, slowly at first, lips tight to the shaft. Junhoe grew harder, his cock thicker, flexing with his arousal inside Hanbin’s mouth.

Hanbin increased his pace, moved faster up and down as he tugged on the tightening sac. Junhoe moaned and Hanbin felt the shuddering body beneath him. Hanbin tugged on the sac till Junhoe cried out, then he let it go feeling it draw up tight. He traced his fingers downward till they rubbed over Junhoe’s opening and he bore two fingers into it, twisting and turning them as he pumped them through the tightness. Junhoe spread his legs further apart, opening himself up to Hanbin. Hanbin slipped the third finger through the tight opening and felt the quivering of Junhoe’s body and the low aroused moan.

“OH…oh, oh…Hanbin…fuck me. Please. Fuck me” Junhoe uttered as he lay spread out on the bed, pushing his ass down on the three fingers.

Slipping his fingers free, Hanbin eased up, lifting one leg bracing it against his chest. The other leg lay on the bed and this spread Junhoe open. Hanbin pushed his erection against Junhoe, pressed against its tightness till he felt the head squeeze through. He pushed inward as Junhoe moaned and cried out. Leaning forward with Junhoe’s leg against his chest, he folded him over, twisted at the hips. Then he drove into Junhoe’s depths, all the way, till his abdomen pressed against the upturned ass. Junhoe cried out and Hanbin felt the shuddering body beneath him as he pulled outward, then pushed in again.

Hanbin moved with a steady rhythm, driving his cock into Junhoe over and over. He felt Junhoe’s wet cock press against his stomach as he pushed inward, at times grinding his hips against Junhoe’s ass. He struggled to keep his pace slow, fighting the urge to speed up, to increase his own stimulation. He wanted this to last as long, as possible. He liked the feel of Junhoe beneath him, the hot skin against his own, and the way it shuddered and quivered with their fuck. He liked the sounds of their fuck. The moans and cries from Junhoe and the squeaks and tapping sound of the bed as it rocked against the wall. He buried his face into Junhoe’s neck and smelled the perspiring skin, Junhoe’s scent when excited, exerting himself during sex. He licked up along the bulging muscle of the neck till he felt the ear and he tugged on lobe then swirled his tongue along the curvature of it. Junhoe bearhugged him, twisting and turning beneath him. He shoved inward harder, unable to hold back, and began to fuck faster.

“Hanbin…Hanbin…fuck me.”

Hanbin let the full weight of his body lie on Junhoe as he drilled inward, pushing into Junhoe’s depths. He worked his hips and pushed with his legs till his muscles ached from the exertion. He was conscious of nothing but their fuck. The hot slick body beneath him, the hot exhale of breath against his neck and the hands that clung to him, fingers digging into his sides then back, desperate, ravenous, and insistent.

Hanbin felt his own body near climax. The tightening of every muscle, the gasping for breath and the urgency of it all, this need for release, that he began to hammer his cock inside Junhoe. Thrust with all his might trying to shove in deeper, to touch some inner core of Junhoe. The hands on his back moved downward and squeezed each cheek as urgent pleas to fuck filled his head.

He jerked his hips back and shoved inward as hard as he could, exploding inside Junhoe. He shoved inward, again and again with each ejaculation till he was spent, and he was working his cock through the slickness of his load.

Hanbin pulled out and glanced down at his still hard cock, wet, slick, dripping with need. He moved over Junhoe, held him down as he moved his ass over the hard cock that had been stabbing him in the stomach. He felt it lube his ass, rake wetly over his tight opening and he bore down on it, wanting it inside him.

“Junhoe” Hanbin whispered; his voice hoarse.

“Hanbin…I want it in me again” Junhoe replied as he sat up and took Hanbin in hand. He held it up as he lowered his ass to it. He felt his resistance to the penetration and let his body’s weight take him on down. His opening painfully stretched taking it. He eased downward, letting inch after inch push into his depths till he had all of it.

Junhoe felt Hanbin trying to push upward, desperate for greater pleasure, more stimulation and Junhoe gave it to him as he rose up and fell back down. He increased his pace as he loosened to the penetration, till he was riding Hanbin roughly.

The bed began to squeak and rock noisily, worse than before. The feel of Hanbin sliding through his tight opening drove him to move faster. His own cock flopped up and down, wetly smacking Hanbin’s stomach.

When Hanbin took him in hand and stroked, he shuddered from the manipulation. He dropped down hard and ground his ass on Hanbin’s cock then thrust his own through the tight fist.

“Oh fuck” Junhoe cried out as he rose up till Hanbin nearly slipped free then dropped down again taking every inch.

Hanbin sat up and hugged their bodies together kissing him below his neck in the small hollow there. He sat on Hanbin’s cock and savored the feel of the lips on his skin, moving upward along his neck then down his jaw till they were kissing. Hanbin rolled him over on his back.

With Junhoe’s legs around his waist, Hanbin began to fuck, to fuck hard, with a furious pace. He wanted to cum, needed to cum, and he piston his cock inside Junhoe, conscious of nothing else.

Junhoe held on, clung to the body on top of him, fucking him, penetrating his depths. He closed his eyes and focused on the feel of it, Hanbin inside him, filling him, boring into his soul. He pleaded with Hanbin, begged him to fuck harder, to make him cum as his own cock rubbed against the undulating bodies it was trapped between.

Junhoe couldn’t believe it. He needed to cum again. Felt the surge of it through his body as Hanbin continued to push deeply into him. Head back, grasping at the bed, he cried out as he came, pumping his second load between them.

Hanbin seemed to be driven mad with the smell of it. Hammering away at Junhoe’s ass, pushing inward as far as he could he reared up and bellowed. He shoved inward and jerked with each release.

Finally spent, the two of them lay still for a long time.

Hanbin eventually slid down next to Junhoe. He raked fingers down Junhoe’s sweaty chest, circling nipples then down around the navel till finally he was fondling Junhoe’s flaccid cock.

Junhoe giggled and twisted away. “Stop…I can’t take any more.”


	5. If Only

Junhoe and Hanbin walked along the sidewalk heading home after having lunch at The Red Cafe, a small bistro four blocks away. They were talking about their latest plan, what arrangements needed to be done and when they should start with preparations.

Junhoe’s apartment was the largest of the two but there was still some re-arranging to do if Hanbin was going to move in with him before Christmas, which seemed so far away but was less than two months away.

As they walked hand in hand, they were unaware of being watched.

Across the street, parked two vehicles back from the corner sat an old car, one familiar to Junhoe _if he had only looked over_ and saw it.

Slouched down looking over the dash sat Jiwon berating himself for making the drive, coming this far only to see his worst fears become real.

He could barely breathe as he sat frozen, watching Junhoe and another guy walk down the sidewalk, turn up the steps to the apartment building where Jiwon knew Junhoe lived. He watched the other guy open the door as if his own then holds it open for Junhoe.

When they disappeared inside Jiwon stared at the closed door for a long time trying to resolve the conflicts he felt inside.

Reaching over he picked up the small blue box and flipped it open. An engagement ring with a small diamond reflected the late afternoon light. He had bought it a month ago but had not been able to go through with it. He tried so many times to approach and propose to Junhoe.

But Jinhwan was expecting it, as well as everyone else who knew them. 'They were meant for each other' everyone had said so many times it made Jiwon nauseous to hear it.

Glancing over he saw a trash receptacle on the sidewalk and felt a strong urge to get out of his car and go over to it. An urge to toss the damn thing in the trash, along with all it meant.

He was miserable, had been since that day he rejected Junhoe, who in turn rejected him when he tried to come back; a rejection more final than he could ever imagine.

Jiwon knew **he deserved it.**

He knew he had been cowardly about their relationship, what there was of it. The sneaking around, never able to be open about it.

Junhoe had tried, and each time he rejected it.

For the following months, he tried to forget.

Forget Junhoe.

Forget his own desires.

The fact of his attractions was not towards the opposite sex.

He really did try.

But after a long drive, then sitting in his hot car watching out for Junhoe he knew he failed once again. But this time he didn’t think he could go back.

He started the car and eased out.

At the intersection it was right to get back to the interstate to head home. He turned left, unsure of anything but the fact he wasn’t going back the way he came. After a couple of miles, he was in another business district. This one was not as nice, with less renovations and new construction going on. There were check cashing places, bail bondsmen, empty storefronts and pawn shops.

He pulled into one with a small parking lot next to the building. A few minutes later he was leaving with two hundred dollars in his pocket. He drove onward till he came to a used car dealership. One of the national chains that advertised they not only sold cars, they bought them. He pulled in. An hour later he walked out with a check for twenty-eight hundred dollars and directions to a bank that would cash it.

It was dark by the time Jiwon got to the old train station. He had checked on his cell phone and found it was cheaper than a plane ticket, which made him feel relieved. He didn’t want to fly and slower train ride would give him time to work out what he was going to do, and if he was lucky, grab some sleep.

He had splurged on a sleeping berth and after laying down for an hour looking out the window at the passing scenery, he finally felt a need for some food.

The dining car was busy, most of the tables taken. He moved along the narrow aisle till he saw a table free along the left side. After ordering, he stared out the window at the dark silhouette of the passing landscape with flashes of light from a house or other building.

When his food arrived, he glanced around the room noticing the other passengers for the first time. Most seemed to be traveling in pairs, with a few tables seating four people. In the back he saw one guy alone, head down reading a book as he ate.

Jiwon sensed he was different.

Sensed a familiarity about him.

Dark hair cut short and fashionably messed up on top, dark rectangular glasses that framed his face and a black shirt made the guy stand out among the other passengers who were more casually dressed. Jiwon knew he shouldn’t stare, but he couldn’t stop himself.

He ate slowly, looking over often between bites. He was nearly done when he saw the guy close his book and stand up. He was tall with a lean build, and Jiwon found himself unable to look away as the guy came toward him heading toward the sleeping cars.

Their eyes met, and for a moment Jiwon wondered if the guy would introduce himself, maybe stop and talk to him, but after a smile (or was it a smirk) the guy moved on past him.

Glancing around Jiwon watched the guy leave the car. It was foolish, insane really, the way he felt rejected. But looking at his reflection in the dark window he knew how he must look. Long unkempt hair, unshaven for days and a cheap work shirt and jeans worn and frayed with boots to match.

He needed to clean up and suddenly the need to do it was overwhelming. He had felt so sorry for himself he hadn’t bothered to use the change of clothes and toiletries he had purchased on the way to the train station, and now he regretted it. If he crossed paths with the guy again, he wanted to have a half-way decent appearance.

Jiwon had a roomette on the lower level, and he pulled out the shopping bag with his new clothes, a plaid shirt and a pair of jeans, underwear and socks. Using his pocket knife he removed the tags from the shirt and pulled the labels off the jeans. Checking the bag once again, he made sure he had everything he would need. Shaving cream, razors, deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste, soap. He tossed a wash cloth and towel into the bag and headed down to the shower that was on his level.

The door was locked, ‘occupied’ showing in the slot above the handle. Instead of going back to his room he stood at the door leading out and watched the dark shadows pass by the window. After a few minutes he heard the door unlock and he turned to see an older woman exiting the small shower room. They greeted in passing as he went in and locked the door.

He stripped off his dirty clothes and shaved. In the shower he ran the water as hot as he could feeling the dirt and grim wash away. He shampooed his hair twice and scrubbed his body till his skin tingled. Towel dry, he stood in front of the mirror and toweled his hair till it was as dry as he could get it. He brushed it till it was untangled then using an elastic band put it in a ponytail. He’d never worn it that way before, but it felt more appropriate than letting it hang loose. Dirty clothes folded up and toiletries back in the bag he unlocked the door and stepped out. He froze when he realized he was about to run into someone, and after blinking from surprise, he saw it was the guy from the dining car.

“Oh…excuse me” Jiwon stammered.

“Excuse me. You do clean up nicely” the guy replied giving Jiwon a smile that made his heart race in his chest.

“Thanks. It has been a long day and I guess I was rough looking.”

“Where you headed?”

“Wherever this train will take me” Jiwon replied before he thought about it.

“I see. A man on the run.”

“Not exactly” Jiwon stated, blushing at the insinuation. “I guess you’d say I’m looking for a new start.”

“Sometimes, some of us have to do that.”

“Where are you headed?” Jiwon asked after a moment’s awkward silence.

“Home. Back to Gangwon”

“Maybe…if I see you later…you can give me some ideas of where to find a place to rent and look for a job?”

The guy moved closer, closer than normal and Jiwon wanted to back up, but he held his ground, looking the guy in the eyes. Brown-ish he thought as he wondered if the guy was going to say something or maybe he was going to kiss him. Just do it he thought. He wanted it, with this complete stranger on a train.

“Maybe I should come by your sleeper later. Which one are you in?”

Jiwon stammered, pointing down the narrow aisle beyond the bathroom area, finally telling the guy which one he was in.

“After I clean up, I could come by with some whiskey I purchased back in Seoul. I’m Yunhyeong, by the way.”

“Jiwon…and that’d be great.”

Jiwon put everything away, out of sight. He sat in the chair then paced in circles in the small room. He wondered if he was overacting. Then he wondered if he was getting his hopes up. Staring out the window he was amazed at where he found himself.

This train is heading towards Gangwon.

And no one knew. Not the possessive Jinhwan, not his parents, nor any of his friends. And he didn’t have a desire to tell them. He’d even shut off his phone at the train station when it had rung for the sixth time within an hour. 

A knock and Jiwon’s heart sped up.

He stared at the door then admonished himself for not moving faster to open it. Yunhyeong stood at the door holding a bottle of whiskey, a brand Jiwon didn’t know, but what caught his attention the most was how Yunhyeong was dressed. A black tank top that showed off his dark skin tone and muscular arms and a pair of shorts in some black and grey plaid pattern with sandals on his feet.

“Hey…come on in” Jiwon stammered as he moved over to let Yunhyeong enter.

Yunhyeong took the seat to the right and Jiwon eased down in the seat on the left, so close their feet were touching. Yunhyeong held two glasses toward Jiwon who took them, holding them up for Yunhyeong to pour the golden liquid from the whiskey bottle.

“This whiskey has been aged to perfection” Yunhyeong stated in a low strong voice.

“I’ve never heard of it” Jiwon confessed as Yunhyeong sealed the bottle setting it on the floor.

“Well, you have missed out…till now. Cheers.”

“Cheers.”

Jiwon took a tentative sip, then another, tasting the smoothness of the whiskey and its slow gentle warming of his insides as he swallowed it. “Damn” he uttered, the looked at Yunhyeong sheepishly, thinking there were better ways to praise this drink.

“Damn is right” Yunhyeong replied, smiling at him as he held up his glass before taking another drink.

“So, why are you on the train? I mean…you seem more like the type to fly.”

“Well, the airports are such a hassle and I like taking my time when traveling. I can read, catch up on work, or just hang out with some new acquaintance enjoying the company.”

“I saw you with a book earlier.”

“Yes, my current reading for pleasure. We have to get it where we can, do we not?” said Yunhyeong and Jiwon sensed the insinuation, and he felt the press against his foot. He pushed back.

“Unfortunately, I’ve let too many chances get by me.”

“But you know it was wrong to do so and starting tonight you’ll do better. Right?”

Jiwon smiled, nodding his head.

“I hope so.”


	6. Letter

Junhoe was on the step ladder setting nails in the wall for the photographs.

He’d been at it all morning and was determined to finish the living room before stopping for lunch. Hanbin had run out to pick them up pizza from the little Italian place over on the next block and was due back any minute.

They were the fifth residents of the new townhouses built in the neighborhood. He could hear sounds of construction for the last row of buildings across the green. Hanbin had been worried the mortgage would be too high, but Junhoe had gotten the promotion hinted at since December and with it the raise.

Last nail set he climbed down and started hanging the photographs. On each side of the wall was family photographs; the right side was Hanbin’s family with his on the left.

As you moved toward the center the images were their child hood photographs, then grade school years till in the center of the wall images of them together. The trip to London last fall and the trips to see family during the holidays and the parties with friends here in the city. It seemed a silly idea at first but looking at the way the images were collaged over the wall it seemed perfect.

Turning around he saw the wall over the dining table had the art piece by a friend of Hanbin’s from their college days and on the opposite wall of the living area a piece by a friend here in the city.

The place was looking like it belonged to the two of them, something the apartment had never done. Looking out the window he saw Hanbin coming up the walk, pizza box in hand and his hunger suddenly increased twofold.

In the kitchen he pulled down a couple of plates and glasses, filled the glasses with ice and brought out the tea from the refrigerator. He was pulling out napkins when the door opened, and Hanbin walked in. Almost immediately he smelled the pizza and gathered up everything to take to the dining table.

“It smells great; let’s eat for I’m starving.”

Sitting the pizza box down then holding out an envelope, Hanbin caught his attention. “You got a letter.”

“Mom or grandmother?”

“Neither.”

“Neither? Who’s it from?”

“Kim From Gangwon City”

“Kim? That’s Jiwon. But where did you say it came from?”

“Gangwon City”

Junhoe took the envelope and looked at the scrawling handwriting and knew it was Jiwon. He ripped it open and began to read, aloud, letting Hanbin hear what Jiwon had to say.

_Junhoe,_

_It has been far too long, but I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from. But I had to write. I need to tell you I’m sorry and you were right to leave me. I deserved it. I wish things had been different. I wish I had not been so cowardly and more supportive of you. But I wasn’t and that was _ _wrong._

_I called your mother back in January and got your address. And yes, it has taken me this long to build up the courage to write. I know you are happy, and in a relationship, and that pleases me. I’m happy for you. Tell Hanbin I said he got a good one._

_I don’t know if you heard, but I was to get engaged last fall, but that was a very bad idea, as you no doubt understand. Can you picture me trying to live that life? The day came when I had to make a decision, so I left. Mom and dad still don’t talk to me but the distance and the friends and companions I have here make up for it. To some degree anyway. It still hurts, you know._

_I would like to see you and Hanbin sometime. No rush, for I know you must still hate me. But when the time is right for you, I’d like us to get together. Gangwon City would be a great place to meet, or we could do something more convenient for the two of you. _

_I feel like I’m rambling now, but the most important thing is I’m sorry and I hope, someday, you can forgive me. I want us to be friends like we once were when we were kids. My cell phone number is 592xxx I hope to hear from you soon. I won’t bother you again until I hear from you._

_Jiwon_

“Hanbin, babe can you hand me my cell phone, please?”

The sound of a cell phone ringing breaks the silence of the room. It vibrates across the table as it rings till Jiwon comes into the room, drying his hands, and touches ‘accept’.

“Hello.”

“Jiwon? It’s Junhoe.”

Jiwon hesitates, searching for what to say, shocked to receive this call from Junhoe so soon.

“Junhoe…it’s good to hear from you. I’m…surprised.”

“I got your letter.”

“Yeah? Well, I meant it. I’m sorry about…”

“Jiwon, stop. I’m not mad at you. Okay? It was just…I couldn’t continue the way we were. You know?”

“I know.”

After a second of silence, Jiwon anxious to hear what Junhoe is going to say, pacing circles in the living room. He looks up and sees Yunhyeong at the door listening.

“Jiwon, everything is good. And I’d like to see you sometime. Have you planned on going home anytime soon?”

“Home? No…no, no. Mom and dad still don’t have anything to say to me. I’ve not spoken to them since last Thanksgiving when dad told me I was dead to him.”

“I don’t think he really meant that.”

“I don’t know; he was really angry. I sent a card with my address and new cell phone number back in December and haven’t heard anything from them.”

“Well, maybe we think about meeting somewhere between us. Hanbin and I have talked about going to Jeju Beach or maybe head up to South Gyeongsang and hike in the mountains some this summer.”

Yunhyeong comes up next to Jiwon nodded his head.

“What?” Jiwon whispered to Yunhyeong.

“Tell them yes. Plan on meeting them.”

“I don’t know” Jiwon replied to Yunhyeong.

“Well, it was just a suggestion” Junhoe replied thinking Jiwon was speaking to him.

“NO…not you Junhoe. I was talking to someone else. I’d love to catch up with you, and Hanbin. Summer is our busiest time of the year but let’s stay in touch and see what I might be able to work out.”

“What kind of work are you doing?”

“It’s a landscape company.”

“Oh wow. I guess summers are really busy.”

“That is what the owner keeps telling us as we start planning the work coming in.”

“Well if it helps any, we’re thinking of July Fourth week, using the holiday to cut down on time taken off.”

“Yeah, that might help. No one wants their yard torn up that week. Listen, I wish I could talk longer but I need to run.”

“Okay. Call me when you have time. You got my number on your phone.”

“Got it.”

“Bye, Jiwon.”

“Bye.”

Jiwon hit ‘end’ and turned toward Yunhyeong who is watching him intently.

“That was the Junhoe, I presume.”

Jiwon nodded, then looked up smiling. He looked relaxed for the first time since arriving. He stood up straighter, taller.

“There seems to be a weight lifted off of you.”

“Yes. I’m glad Junhoe isn’t mad at me.”

“You still love him?” Yunhyeong asked with a questioning tone.

“In a way, yes. He was like a brother. But could we ever revisit where we were? No. I don’t think either of us could imagine that. Why? Jealous?”

“Jealous my ass” Yunhyeong replied. 

Jiwon moved up close, their bodies nearly touching. He reached out and rubbed Yunhyeong’s chest then leaned down and kissed him.

“You want to mess around a bit before going to work?” Jiwon whispered.

“No” Yunhyeong replied

"Come on, I'll miss you" 

"Am I the one you really miss?"

Jiwon smirks and said "So,who's not jealous now? as he took Yunhyeong by the hand and led him to his bedroom.

Removing their clothes quickly, Jiwon pushed Yunhyeong onto the bed.

He landed on top and began to kiss him, to run hands along the lean body, caressing the skin, feeling the muscular form of it then sliding one hand between them, grasping the growing erection pinned beneath him.

Yunhyeong cried out with the manipulation. Jiwon pulled the loose foreskin back and rubbed the sensitive head then he tugged on it making Yunhyeong shudder.

Yunhyeong pushed Jiwon over on his back and crawled between his legs. Head back, Jiwon closed his eyes and focused his entire being on the sensation of a wet mouth on his cock. The up and down slide of lips along its hardening length and the tongue that swirled around the head then tried to bore into the slit. He cried out, clutching at the bed with both hands. He pushed upward with his hips and felt his entire cock engulfed in the heat of Yunhyeong’s mouth.

“Fuck…stop, stop Yunhyeong. It’s too soon” Jiwon urged as he pushed Yunhyeong off his cock. “Roll the fuck over.”

Yunhyeong smiled at him as he rolled over on his back. Jiwon wasted no time getting between his legs, lifting them to his shoulders and putting his wet cock at the tight wrinkled opening. Pushing forward he watched his cock sink into Yunhyeong, inch after inch till half of his cock was buried in him.

“Fuck…fuck me, Jiwon…come on, give it to me” Yunhyeong pleaded as he worked his ass to take another inch.

Jiwon pushed again, this time sinking all the way into Yunhyeong, then moved over him, folding him over. Yunhyeong’s ass lifted up perfectly and Jiwon began to fuck. To pull outward and drive back in. Slowly at first, but as his arousal grew so did his pace. Soon he was slamming into Yunhyeong’s body. The sound of it echoed around the room. The rhythm of it fell in line with the squeak of the bed as it rocked beneath them.

“Oh…oh fuck. Fuck” Yunhyeong mumbled as he took Jiwon’s fuck.

Jiwon fucked to cum, drove with his hips hard, ramming inward over and over. He didn’t pace himself, didn’t try to slow down. He thrust harder and harder till his rhythm became ragged and he felt the surge of release. He jammed into Yunhyeong’s hole all the way and kept jamming against his ass as he came, ejaculating wad after wad into him.

Jiwon pulled out roughly, cum still dribbling from his cock and dropped down on his stomach beside Yunhyeong.


	7. What If

Yunhyeong found himself at a friend’s party, one where he assumed, he’d be the token gay guy. He felt no anxiety about being there or being openly gay. No one harassed him. Instead he was treated as one of the gang. He heard a group of women laughing loudly in the living room as he made his way to the kitchen for a beer and wondered which guy they were joking about. He could see it, so much more obvious to him than with the straight guys, how the women were checking them out. He wondered if a woman was amongst his gay friends, could she see the same.

“Hey Yunhyeong, where the hell have you been?” yelled Jaeho across the small kitchen.

“I was on the front porch talking with some random guys.”

“Well, grab a fresh beer and come on out back. We’re firing up the grills and need those that don’t burn food manning them.”

“I’ll be right out.”

He watched Jaeho go out the door, the screen door slamming closed behind him. He’d known Jaeho since kindergarten and to this day he was his best friend.

Beer in hand Yunhyeong went out the door onto the back porch. He scanned the crowd looking for Jaeho finding him at the grill near the back fence.

He strolled across the yard passing the cheap above ground pool with several sitting in it or lying on floats and the firepit area where he saw another joint being passed around the circle.

“Looks like it needs to burn down some more” Yunhyeong stated as Jaeho looked his way.

“I think ten or fifteen more minutes and we can start getting the meat out here” Jaeho replied.

“We have three grills going, so who is manning each one.”

“I thought You and I would watch this one” said Jaeho pointing at the grill closest to the porch, then pointing to the one between them, “and Hanbin will take that one.”

“Hanbin?”

“Yeah? He started working at the firm two weeks ago and is still trying to learn his way around the Big Easy” said Jaeho giving Yunhyeong a mischievous smile.

“I see. And is this Hanbin gay?”

“Why, I do believe he might be. Why don’t you find out?”

Yunhyeong wanted to be aggravated with Jaeho. He had told him several times over the last few months to stop trying to hook him up with every gay guy he crossed paths with.

He knew there was aspects it lacked with Jiwon. A real intimacy being the main thing. He had been telling himself that was a straight thing. But lately, when alone with his own thoughts he wasn’t so sure.

He wondered if he really could live like just one casual relationship after the next, with nothing but the sex to bind them. He didn’t fault him for it but had begun to wonder if he could really continue to live the same way. And he was pretty sure it was an issue for Jiwon.

He had seen how there were times Jiwon seemed distance, distracted by his own thoughts. He knew sooner or later Jiwon would find someone else, someone who would give him what he wanted. Or he will go back and pursue Junhoe.

As Yunhyeong strolled across the yard to the other grill he wondered if he should approach Jiwon differently. Could he change how things were between them? Would he want to? It was a tantalizing prospect, but had things become too established between them. The casualness of their sex, going at each other whenever the desire took hold of one them.

The grill wasn’t smoking as much as the others. Opening the top, he saw the coals were beautifully burned down. He scrubbed the grill with a wire brush getting the last of the residue off and closed the top.

“Hey Jaeho …this one is ready to start cooking.”

“I got the hamburgers” came a voice from the porch and Yunhyeong looked up to see a guy approaching him holding out a plastic container of patties.

He was about his own height, but a stocky build evident by the lack of a shirt, wearing only swim trucks still wet from recently being in the pool. Blonde hair hung over his forehead which was still damp. Up close freckles were evident across his cheeks and nose and when he smiled, dimples formed that made him look boyish.

‘Damn’ thought Yunhyeong trying to act cool, but all he could focus on was the vivid brown eyes staring at him.

“Hey…I’m Hanbin.”

“Of course, you are…I mean hey, I’m Yunhyeong” he stammered, feeling flustered for the first time in a long time around another guy. “Just set those here and I’ll toss them on the grill.”

“Jaeho says you guys go back a long way.”

“Yeah, kindergarten, if you can believe it. How long have you lived in Seoul?”

“I just moved here a couple of months ago.”

“Finding your way around?”

“Working on it. How long have you lived in Seoul?”

“I was born here but I currently live outside the city a few miles away.”

“The landscape business you work at?”

Yunhyeong looks at Hanbin and smiles at how he seems to know about him than he lets on. “Yep. I guess Jaeho told you about me?”

“Some…”

“What did he say, and I’ll correct all the lies he might have told you” Yunhyeong jokingly stated as he closed the top of the grill and set the empty container on the nearby table.

“Well, what would you like to know?”

“First, are you gay?”

Hanbin looked at Yunhyeong with shock, then slowly, gradually his expression changed, softened, the dimples formed as he began to smile. “Straight to the point, and…yes. And you?”

“I think with what Jaeho has told you already, that was probably one of the first things he told you.”

“No, I think it was the second time he mentioned you; not the first” and they both laughed.

It was late, the moon low in the sky and it was quiet, the party settled down, for everyone had overeaten and drank too much. Yunhyeong found himself sitting on the front porch next to Hanbin, just the two of them watching a few cars ease by. Their knees bumped and then their hands lay next to the other’s. Fingers toyed with each other making them smile at the other without comment.

Hanbin leaned towards Yunhyeong, so close it made Yunhyeong’s heart beat faster. It was a low voice that whispered to him, so low he could barely hear it. It blew over his ear like a gentle breeze, caressing the soft curves of it.

“Will you go out with me?”

Yunhyeong smiled and nodded his head. “I’d love to. When?”

“Tomorrow evening?”

Yunhyeong couldn’t stop smiling. “Tomorrow evening it is. I have a shitty car, but I could pick you up around seven.”

“Why don’t we go somewhere or we’ll just walk down the street to this great little seafood place. It’s a bit a dive in appearance but…”

“The food is great? I think I know what restaurant you are talking about, and it is good. I’ll see you at seven.”

“Hey Yunhyeong, get your ass in here and bring Hanbin. We’re going to play that new video game” Jaeho yelled out from the screen door.

“Shall we” Yunhyeong said to Hanbin as he stood then held out a hand to help him up.

****

Music played softly in the background and only a lamp on an end table lit the place. 

They sat on the sofa, a foot apart, suddenly acting like high schoolers on a first date. Conversation had flowed freely in the restaurant, but now it was stiff, one or the other stammering to make some comment.

They checked into the motel nearby, on the upper floor. It was quaint, small, with walls painted far too many times, old wood floors scuffed and scratched from decades of hard use and light fixtures that hadn’t been in fashion since the sixties. Maybe even longer. But the flaws added to its charm instead of distracting from it. It was intimate with its dark red walls and woods aged to a dark honey color.

Yunhyeong knew he either had to leave or see if Hanbin was open for something more intimate, sexual in nature. Oddly enough, he wasn’t sure he wanted to push it that far on this first date. The idea of tearing Hanbin’s clothes off and Hanbin fucking him was more in line what he did with Jiwon, and he didn’t want that, not with Hanbin.

“Maybe I should go” said Yunhyeong as he started to stand.

“Yunhyeong…please, don’t go.”

“You want me to stay?”

“Yes.”

Hanbin slid closer till their legs touched and he leaned toward Yunhyeong, bringing their lips together.

“Stay with me tonight” he whispered as he put one hand on Yunhyeong’s thigh and used the other to hold his chin as he kissed him again.

“Let’s go to the bedroom” said Yunhyeong, as he backed away and pulled Hanbin up as he stood, then led him to the bedroom. The small room was sparsely furnished. A twin bed, two small round tables for nightstands and an old armoire that was the oldest piece in the motel. Its darkly stained woods seem to absorb the light from the room. It was a dark massive thing occupying more of the room than its physical size suggested.

They moved to the side of the bed and Yunhyeong began to pull at Hanbin’s clothes trying to strip him quickly.

“Slow down Yunhyeong, we have all night” Hanbin whispered as he pulled Yunhyeong’s hands from his shirt then began to undo the buttons on Yunhyeong’s shirt, slowly one by one.

Naked, the two of them eased down on the bed. Yunhyeong felt Hanbin’s hands roam over his body.

Each touch, every caress and manipulation. He did the same, wanting to feel every curve, every shape of the muscular body lying next to him.

When he raked his hand down Hanbin’s stomach, he felt hard cock fill it. He stroked it making Hanbin moan. "uhmmm"

As he manipulated it, he felt Hanbin’s hand come down his back, slide over his round ass and slip between each cheek.

Fingers probed down along his ass, raked the sensitive skin till rubbing over his tight opening. He pushed back wanting Hanbin to keep touching him. As his own hand became slick with Hanbin’s drooling cock, he felt those fingers bore into his hole.

He shivered with the stretch of his opening and the feel of fingers twisting and turning in his hole.

“Fuck” Yunhyeong uttered breathlessly as Hanbin slipped another finger into him.

Hanbin guided Yunhyeong onto his back, moving between his legs. Yunhyeong held his legs at the knees pulled back and spread apart. He opened himself to Hanbin, put on display his body, fully revealed, wanting the pleasure of Hanbin’s fuck. He begged Hanbin, pleading with him to do it, to put that cock in him.

Hanbin shifted closer and Yunhyeong felt the wet cock rub over his ass then push at his opening. Then he felt himself stretch open, the penetration by Hanbin, inch after inch pushing inward till their bodies were pressed together. Head thrown back, eyes closed, he relaxed into Hanbin’s fuck. Initially it was a gentle rocking as cock pushed into his depths and slowly, almost painfully so, pulled outward. Hanbin stroked his desire, fueled his arousal till he felt his own hardness. The ache of it. Then he felt Hanbin’s hand take it, stroke it till he was shuddering from the stimulation.

“Please….fuck me…fuck me harder” Yunhyeong pleaded as he grabbed at the bed and pushed with his ass trying to get Hanbin deeper.

Hanbin’s pace increased and he rocked more roughly on the bed. It squeaked with every push inward.

Then he heard the smack of Hanbin’s abdomen against his ass, then that of the bed against the wall. It drove him to a state he was pushing up with his hips thrusting his cock through Hanbin’s hand, then downward onto the cock sinking into his hole. Their pace increased and furiously Hanbin pounded his ass.

A hand came to his neck and pushed down pinning him to the bed as Hanbin further increased his pace. He took his own cock and stroked in rhythm with Hanbin’s fuck. He was sweating and his skin felt on fire. Nothing came into focus except Hanbin in his ass, fucking, fucking hard. He wanted to come.

“Harder…harder…fuck me…fuck…” Yunhyeong stammered as he felt his own imminent release, the surge through his body. He jerked around on Hanbin’s cock then froze, every muscle locked tight, as cum exploded from his cock.

He came hard, harder than ever before. Cum spattered his face, then neck and finally his body. It covered him, the smell of it filled the room, and it seemed to push Hanbin over the edge. Holding him down and jamming into his hole hard, over and over, Hanbin cried out then filled him with cum. 

Yunhyeong stayed the night and woke early in order to get to work on time. As he was pulling his jeans up Hanbin rolled over and looked at him with bleary eyes.

“What time is it?”

“5:30.”

“What?”

“It’s 5:30. I have to be at work by six thirty to help load up plants, and by the time I drive home and get changed I’ll be pushed to get there on time.”

“Can you let yourself out?”

“Yeah” Yunhyeong replied buttoning his jeans. He picked up his shirt, shoes and socks and eased up next to the bed. Hanbin was watching him and smiled as he approached. “I’ll call you later, okay?”

“I hope so. I’ll probably be working late today so call after eight or nine.”

“Okay.”

“And Hanbin?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks. I had a nice time.”

Yunhyeong watched Hanbin blush and he wanted to pull his jeans back off and climb in bed with him.

He leaned over and kissed him, then said goodbye. He put his shirt on as he made his way through the living room. He sat at the dining table and put his shoes on, grabbed up his keys and cell phone and headed out.


	8. Past and Present

“Junhoe”

“Umm?”

“I want to tell you something”

“What is it?”

“The thing is I’ve made a terrible mis-“

“Shhh” Junhoe didn’t let Hanbin finish his sentence, he sighed “Just – can we please just let this day pass?”

“Oh - Okay”

The fireworks launched from somewhere in the port and arced out over the bay. One explosion after the next filled the sky and reflected off the shimmering night time waters. Across the bay on the sandy shore of the barrier island thousands were gathered to watch the spectacle. All along the coast and on boats floating near the shore they watched.

Near the end of the island at the channel leading to the bay they sat on the old wall that traversed the end of the island around the old fort.

Junhoe and Hanbin seated next to each other and to their right sat Jiwon. They had been at the beach for a couple of days, two large tents set up in the campground near the fort. The three of them had done the tours, rented bikes to ride the trails, gone to the commercial district to browse in the tacky souvenir shops and eat seafood and they had spent hours on the beach.

Early mornings wondering along the shoreline looking for shells, during the day sitting under an umbrella or frolicking in the water and at night, just sitting in the dark looking at the stars and moon while listening to the waves break on shore.

Tonight, they were going back into the city. It was the fourth of July and the bars and clubs were to be open as another avenue for celebrating. Hanbin had found a small gay club not far from where the bay bridge came into the city, and as luck would have it, a small bar in between that they could go for pre-club drinks.

Junhoe bumped shoulders with Hanbin as the last of the fireworks exploded out over the bay earning him that special smile of Junhoe’s. Looking around the other way he looked at Jiwon and saw someone he barely recognized. They had met at the campground on Sunday afternoon, three days ago, and struggled to find that old ability of just talking to each other. The easy going banter they had had.

Things were different, none more so than for him and he knew it.

Hanbin was now in his life and Jiwon was the past.

Jiwon had put on a brave face, greeting Hanbin warmly and asking all the right questions about what he had been up to over the last days since they last talked, making final arrangements.

But when he thought Junhoe wasn’t looking, when he thought he was alone, there was a melancholy about him that seemed sad. There was an isolation about him, some self-imposed aspect Junhoe thought related to their past, but as he watched, gave special notice to some of the things said, and how they were said, he knew there was more to it than that.

“Hey, I’m heading back to change” said Hanbin as he climbed to his feet.

“I’ll be right behind you” Junhoe replied, then leaning closer as if to kiss him, whispered “I want to talk to Jiwon a minute.”

“Okay” Hanbin replied. He knew what Junhoe was worried about for they had discussed it whenever away from Jiwon.

Jiwon stood and came over next to Junhoe as Hanbin headed down the wall towards where their bikes were parked. Indicating he should follow, Junhoe headed toward the pier in the opposite direction.

“Okay, it’s just the two of us. Will you tell me what is going on with you?”

“Nothing…really, it’s nothing.”

“Come on, Jiwon. We haven’t been around each other for several years, but I still know you. Something is wrong. Tell me.”

“Look, there isn’t anything really wrong. It’s just…”

“Yeah?”

“Well, I thought I knew what I wanted, or…” Jiwon stammered, then took a deep breath, “I never had been as secure with myself as you are; you know that. But living in Gangwon with Yunhyeong there had been a time when I thought ‘this is it’, but…”

“It wasn’t what you imagined?”

“No, it…things have changed. I thought Yunhyeong would always be, I don’t know, free. Be lone wolves and just living life.”

“Now Yunhyeong has?”

“I don’t know. Something is going on with him. He hasn’t wanted to mess around in three weeks or so. The last time was when he came back from looking at this park project we are to start in September. God, he came back from the meeting horny as hell. I even had bruises where he held me too tightly.”

“But since then?”

“Nothing. I’ve even tried to make the first move. Fuck, it’s embarrassing what I did the other day, letting him find me naked in one the greenhouse. “

“Really” Junhoe asked in surprise.

“Really. And you know what he did? ‘I can’t right now’, turned and walked away.”

“What do you think is going on?”

“I think it is this guy at the Park. I overhead one phone conversation with this Kim Bin guy.”

“Kim Bin?”

“Yeah. You know him?”

“N-no, just familiar. Sounds like it got serious. But tell me, what do you want Jiwon? I mean, really want?”

“I…want…” Jiwon stammered, and Junhoe squeezed his shoulder. “I think I want what you have, if I’m honest. I was hurt when Yunhyeong met Kim Bin, and honestly, like the last time when I found out about Hanbin…dear god, that hurts too. So, maybe I’m jealous of what you guys have, which means…”

“You want the same thing?”

“I don’t know Junhoe, to be honest I don’t really know” Jiwon said as they came to the end of the wall and turned to head back. By the time they got back to their bikes and to the tents Hanbin would be changed and ready to go.

Junhoe know what is happening now, why and where this sudden coldness from Hanbin came from.

But he will not let the tears fall now, not now.

Just, not this day.

He will not let Jiwon see him weak and hurt once again.

No.

Never again.


	9. Goodbye

The bar had been a small place. The bar itself took up most of one room and two pool tables most of the other. Only the patio had enough space for people to really gather and it had been packed. The guys hadn’t stayed long, quickly making their way to the club. It was a small too and was not especially crowded. But the music had been good, so after a couple of drinks they found themselves on the dance floor.

Jiwon didn’t dance long, soon making his way to one wall to watch Junhoe and Hanbin. Neither was particularly good, and they moved slower than everyone else. But they looked good together and it was obvious to Jiwon they had something special.

“Hey, I’m Jinny”

Jiwon was surprised to find a guy leaning against the wall next to him.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m Jinny. And you are?”

“Jiwon.”

“So, Jiwon, are you new to the area or just another tourist?”

“Tourist.”

“Figures. You want to dance?”

“Not really. You want to get a drink?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Jiwon stood at the bar talking with Jinny. There was the music, the DJ working at that moment and the one to come on at one, who was obviously much better. Jinny talked about the city and what it was like living in the area and Jiwon talked about Seoul and living near Gangwon.

Junhoe and Hanbin came over and asked Jiwon if he was ready to leave. Jiwon knew they wanted to get back to the campground, for he could tell by how they were dancing with each other they were ready for more.

“I can take him back” Jinny interjected.

“No, it’s okay. It’s such a long way back to the park.”

“It is some distance, but I live on the island, so I’m going most of the way anyway.”

“If you’re sure?”

“Yes, come on, hang out with me. You’re the most interesting thing in the club.”

It was flattery and Jiwon knew it, but it was nice to hear. “Yeah…okay. Junhoe, you guys go on back.”

Junhoe smiled at him, nodding as he did, “See ya back at the camp site.”

Junhoe and Hanbin made it back to the camp site to find it quiet. They saw no one out and about. Only a few tents had a light on. Everything else was dark. They pulled up to their tent, grabbed some clothes from the trunk and headed toward the bath house.

“I hope we have it to ourselves” Hanbin whispered as they crossed the grounds.

The room was quiet. There was no hint of anyone around. Even the air had dissipated the moisture and odors of previous users. They moved to the last shower stall, the two of them going in together hoping no one would come in and catch them. They stripped out of their clothes, giggling at their antics.

Hanbin was naked first and he turned the shower on, holding his hand under the spray to adjust the temperature to their liking.

Junhoe came up behind him hugging their bodies together while kissing the back of his neck. “Is the water warm?” he whispered in Hanbin’s ear.

“Yes” Hanbin replied leading Junhoe under the spray.

They soaped each other, hands gliding over slick skin. Hanbin leaned back against the stall wall, eyes closed, letting Junhoe manipulate him. Fingers rubbed his nipples till they stuck out hard, then they were twisted and pinched making Hanbin moan and push his chest out.

Kisses ran along his neck, jaw then pressed against his lips as hands moved down over his stomach till one grasped his erection and stroked it.

Hanbin’s hands moved around Junhoe’s waist and over his ass. Fingers probed between the cheeks then rubbed over his hole. Junhoe moaned and brought one leg up wrapping it around Hanbin’s waist.

“Finger me…shove them in…” Junhoe pleaded as he pushed back against them.

Hanbin penetrated him, sank two fingers into his hole and twisted them around, pumped them through the tightness till he felt it loosen to his manipulation. Then he spun Junhoe around, held his hands against the wall as he put his cock to that tight opening.

“Junhoe…” Hanbin uttered as he pushed against the tightness. Slowly, painfully, he felt the head of his cock breach the tightness. He pushed through it, feeling it milk his shaft as inch after inch squeezed through it. He pressed against Junhoe’s back. Working his hips, he fucked into Junhoe’s depths, drove inward as far as he could.

Junhoe cried out, the sound echoing in the small room.

Stepping back, Hanbin took Junhoe by the waist and pulled his lower body back, head still resting against the wall, and he began to fuck Junhoe again. He moved with an increasing pace, his need for release too great to slow. The sound of bodies smacking together, and Junhoe’s reverberating moans grew louder and louder.

“FUCK” Hanbin uttered as he shoved into Junhoe and came.

When he pulled out, his cock still half hard, he fell back against the opposite wall. Junhoe was on him quickly holding him against it, where he felt hands holding each thigh. He put his legs around Hanbin’s waist as cock penetrated him. Throwing his head back he cried out as inch after inch stretched him open.

“Fuck me more” Junhoe whispered onto him, he knew this could be the last…

The last time Hanbin will use him.

His feelings.

His weakness.

Hanbin didn’t hesitate, didn’t hold back, as he fucked Junhoe again, and thrust into him harder and harder. Once again, the room echoed their fuck, the loud moans and the squeaking stall as Hanbin hammered Junhoe’s hole. Junhoe clung to Hanbin, begged him to fuck him, to fuck him harder. He felt the nip at his neck, the hot breath on his skin and the cock that piston in his hole faster and faster.

Hanbin cried out, bit down on his shoulder and shoved into him roughly. He felt the shuddering body against his own and the cock flexing inside him with each release.

A few miles up the island road, in a small condo on the bay side, Jinny was on his back, legs pressed down onto his chest, as Jiwon was hammering away at his hole.

“Gonna fuck you like there’s no tomorrow…” Jiwon uttered as he punched through the tightness and drove his hips forward sinking every inch into Jinny’s hole.

“uhhh Jiwon!”

Jiwon held him down and fucked him with a furious pace. Then he would bear hug him, arm wrapped tightly around Jinny’s neck and slowly grind his cock into Jinny’s depths. He built up his need to cum, then slowed, allowing the need to subside, then he would hammer away at Jinny’s insides once again. Over and over, for what seemed like an eternity, he kept up their fuck. He held him down and used his hole for his own pleasure, as Jinny had done with him.

This was a fuck, a way for sexual release. They knew the score when they left the club.

The long drive over the bay bridge where Jiwon leaned over and sucked Jinny to full hardness. The pull of his hair to get him to stop. Then the staggering, stumbling walk across the parking lot, up the stair and into the condo, kissing and touching and groping the other as they tore at each other’s clothes.

Then Jiwon on his back and now Jinny on his stomach.

Jiwon wanted to see his face when he blasted his way into him. He pulled out and roughly flipped him over. Jinny didn’t have to be told what to do. He took each of his own legs and pulled them up and out, spreading himself open.

Looking down, Jiwon saw the still hard cock lying wetly against Jinny’s abdomen. He took it and manipulated the sensitive head till Jinny was shivering and begging him to stop. He didn’t stop, instead he punched his cock through Jinny’s tightness and sunk into his depths once again.

He stroked Jinny’s cock and fucked his ass, roughly, rocking the bed and making Jinny beg him to fuck harder.

Then he felt it, the surge for release. He hammered his cock inside Jinny till he was crying out and filling him with his load. Looking down he saw cum spattered over Jinny’s chest and stomach, then he saw a smiling face of someone finally spent.

“Thanks; I needed that” said Jinny.

“Me too.”

Looking toward the window Jiwon saw sunlight filtering through the blinds. He glanced down at his watch and saw it was nearly seven.

“Hey, before you crash out, can you give me a lift down to the campground?”

“Yeah, sure.”

The rest of the day was spent lounging around the campground or down on the beach. They prepared the most basic sandwiches for lunch and dinner, none of them wanting to either grill or go back to a restaurant. They were leaving the next morning and all they wanted to do was rest up.

Jiwon watched how Junhoe and Hanbin acted around each other. The casual way one would do something for the other, sometimes without being asked. He saw a comforting aspect of their relationship, this knowing the other at a level that was instinctual.

It made him think of his relationship with Yunhyeong and how it had changed so easily, for there had been nothing to hold it together. Jiwon kept coming back to how it didn’t seem enough, not for him. He watched Junhoe open a soda for Hanbin and hand it over.

So simple gesture.

He knew once he felt secure, standing on his own two feet, his mentality about his own personal life would change. It seemed like a threshold he needed to cross over.

The next morning Junhoe and Hanbin got Hanbin’s car packed, the rolled-up tent the last thing they stuffed in the back. Jiwon tossed most of his things in the passenger footwell of the car, but the tent and cooler went in the bed, secured with bungee cords.

There was an awkward moment when he wasn’t sure how to say goodbye.

Was it to be a simple word of goodbye or should he give Junhoe a hug, a gesture that might seem too intimate? Hanbin solved the problem by coming to him first and hugging his neck.

“It was good to finally meet you. Take care” Hanbin said in the sincerest tone.

“Thanks…and take care of Junhoe, will ya?” Jiwon replied giving him a smile trying to make it sound like a joke.

“Oh, I will.”

Junhoe came to him next, and their hug was longer, their bodies rocking back and forth.

“I’ve missed you; you know?”

“I missed you.”

“Keep in touch and we’ll plan on getting together again soon.”

With each of them in their own vehicles they left the campground and drove down the narrow two-lane road along the island. Jiwon followed Hanbin and Junhoe, across the bridges, through a short section of the city and onto the interstate connector.

“Junhoe”

“Stop there Hanbin”

“Why?”

“Can we go home first?”

“Okay”

“Okay .....”

Junhoe and Hanbin headed east and Jiwon headed west.


	10. Finally

Two years later…

Junhoe slowed as he came to the exit, easing over into the exit lane and down the slope to the stop sign. He sat for a moment, his stomach in knots, thinking how easy it would be to go straight and back on the interstate.

He could go to Japan or Philippines or anywhere else for the holidays. He looked left then right once more and pulled out, turning left.

He drove slowly scanning his surroundings looking for the familiar and things that had changed in the last months since his leaving. Not much had changed. A new cafe behind the Jung’s house and the bridge over the creek was being replaced, the road diverted to the side over a temporary bridge.

When he made it to the next plateau he slowed, taking Highway 131, a small detour that would let him ride by the Koo residence. He debated whether, or not to stop, putting off making it to his own home.

When the Koo’s house came into view he slowed and fought the urge to stop. The plan was to get together the next day for dinner with Jiwon’s family.

It would make Saturday bearable but the next day, Sunday, would be another matter. His mother had been hinting for the last two weeks about going to church, something he knew was a mistake. But with their conversations so stiff, a fragile truce that made them strangely formal, lacking anything really personal, he had put off telling her he wouldn’t go.

His mother had reached out for him once again at Thanksgiving and was surprised he replied.

He heard the anxiousness in her voice. She was trying to reconnect him. But it was painfully obvious his Junhoe wasn’t ready to do that.

Junhoe distanced himself from anyone. Including his own family.

Another two weeks and slowly, over several phone calls, Junhoe finally spoke to his father on the phone. They talked about his new job and all. But there was nothing personal.

After his detour, Junhoe came to his home and he wondered at the reference. Calling it home. It had been, once, but it no longer felt like it. As he pulled around the house and into the space, he had considered his own he wondered once again if this had been a good idea.

Maybe they should have waited till after the holidays, met up somewhere in the middle, some neutral ground.

Stepping down he saw his mother come out followed by his father. He closed the door and let his mother come to him, wondering how she’d approach. She came to him without hesitation, wrapping her arms around him.

“Oh, Junhoe, I’m so glad you came home.”

They hugged as Junhoe struggled on how to reply. Finally, he responded with a small quiet voice.

“Thanks mom.”

“How are you Junhoe? Oh god Junhoe. we're so worried about you, I’m relieved that you came home after what happened”

Junhoe was about to reply but his dad came up but didn’t hug him, keeping a few feet away.

“No problem driving up?”

Typical of his father.

Go for the casual comment about anything but the main thing between them. He knew to play along, to let his father have all the space he wanted. It would make the next few days bearable.

“No, no problems. Traffic was a bit heavy but no wrecks.”

“Good. I see you got a new car.”

“New to me” Junhoe responded

“Looks good, but four-wheel drive? Do you need that?”

Always some criticism but Junhoe let it roll over him.

“There are some areas in Seoul that make it useful.”

“Come on, enough about a car, let’s get inside. I’ve got dinner on the stove” his mother interjected.

“I’ll just get my bag” Junhoe replied moving around his car to the passenger side.

Dinner had been an uneasy affair, his mother making most of the conversation. Junhoe wondered if his whole stay would be like this, but relieved to find his father relaxing once they were in the den, television on one of the college football games.

They began to talk about his business plans, why did he resign?

What will he expected to make?

Junhoe’s ability to recommend someone to care for the work he had put in place for each client.

How and why he and Hanbin broke up.

And so on.

But a soft knock on the door calls their attention.

“I’m on it” Junhoe said as he walks towards the door, and it slowly opened.

“Ji – Jiwon”

Jiwon smiled shyly “Hi”

“Hi” Junhoe replied, there was an awkward silence for a moment or two “What … what are you doing here?”

“Do you mind if I can borrow some salt?”

Junhoe chuckles “salt?? Wow. Jiwon that is … “ he sighs “seriously, what are you doing here?”

Jiwon inhaled god damn how deep he inhales “Umm, Junhoe … Do you remember one time you asked me about what I really want? I mean really really want?”

“Uhuh, what about it?”

“I think ... I think I know what I want now. Uh - no, I finally decided what I want now.”


End file.
